When it comes to recreational activities, I choose them carefully, based entirely on the potential for humiliation or injury. And in the age of smart phones with good cameras, my humiliation won’t be limited to just a few lucky by-standers but could be posted to Youtube before I get finished dusting my pants off.
So, when The Viking first mentioned how much he enjoyed playing Darts I was, understandably, alarmed. Playing Darts involves stabby things and that’s never a good idea for me. You would think The Viking would know this by now – we’ve already established that I shouldn’t play with fire, automatic weapons, or knives. As much as I would love to Fence, we all know that I would fumble the Foil and fall on it in a weird kind of Japanese ritual OR fumble the Foil and accidentally stab an observer. It’s just in everyone’s best interest to keep stabby things out of my hands.
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that a Viking would like a Stabby Sport because it’s kind of in their genes, along with boating activities and looting churches. To be fair though, I haven’t heard of any recent looting or even pillaging, so everyone should stay calm.
Anyway, The Viking hung up a Dart Board, gave me a Gin and Tonic*, handed me the stabby things and said, “Let’s play!” Obviously, his enthusiasm for the sport over-rode his better judgment.
Of the first 6 Darts I threw, 3 missed the board and stabbed the wall, I dropped one which nearly impaled my right foot, one bounced off the cabinet and almost stabbed the cat, one stabbed my left boob and one hit the Bullseye.
I gave The Viking a look.
Truth be told, it went better than I anticipated. By the time we closed the cabinet there were only 6 stab holes in the wall, the cats were happily unstabbed, and the wound to my Jugular Vein was only superficial.
It’s still a good idea to have the First Aid Kit handy though, in case The Viking wants a rematch.
*What the fuck?! The potential for a catastrophic event triples as soon as you give me booze.
He gave you stabby thingies AND a gin and tonic?
The man loves living on the edge, doesn’t he?
I know! I’m putting it down to a monumental lapse in reason. 😏
Oh!! And you aren’t in the trash! Maybe fixing all that junk last week made my blog a nicer person. 😁
Last time I played darts I watched my friend Cat bounce one off the board and impale it in the wall. This was before they all started drinking. The rest…didn’t go much better.
LOL! Darts are not as easy as one would think. Oddly, I got better the more I drank. 😂😂
You are amazing! The Viking gives you 6 darts, and you manage to throw 7?
I love you two!! 🙂 *big hugs*
The one that fell and almost impaled my foot hadn’t technically been thrown at the board. That’s the one that hit the bullseye. 😁 Hugs back, Lady.
Oh! I hadn’t seen it that way 😉
I am glad you and the kitties are safe, after all!!
That’s because I didn’t actually write it. 😕 Clarity matters. 🙂🧡
It’s a good job that lawn darts are banned–I can only imagine the chaos!!
He loves Lawn Darts too!!! I forgot about that! And Horseshoes! It’s all about throwing and stabbing. 😂