The Viking is always getting visitors. They drop shit off and pick shit up and they all make me happy when they leave. I don’t like people invading my yard any more than I like other cats invading my yard but if they really feel the need to stop by the least they can do is leave their truck door open, or a window at a bare minimum. I’m short, you know, and getting into your vehicle isn’t always easy.
I bring this up now because I found the perfect Izzie-mobile. Lucky for me, the guy I am stealing it from spent a good amount of time talking with The Viking so I could do a long and thorough inspection. That’s the most important thing about getting a new vehicle – check it over carefully.
I like the color. It’s not pink but it’s attractive nonetheless.
That seat belt is a little high.
It has a rack to carry my litter box and cat tree – unlike that monstrosity The Viking drives.
Lots of leg room for my people.
Plenty of cargo space for my toys and food.
The side mirrors are in good order – I just need to reset them for my height.
Methinks I’m going to need a Booster Seat.
Hey! You! Hand over the keys so I can take it out for a test drive.
And then, in what I can only call a complete breakdown in communication, the guy takes the truck away!! What the hell were you thinking, Viking?! I wanted it and you just let him drive it away?
I was just getting over your betrayal with the neighbor’s cat and then you pull this shit?! How hard could it be to just put the guy on a bus?
What?! I’m not allowed to have a truck now? Is that what you’re saying to me?
Where’s Mom?! She’ll let me have a truck. Just you wait and see!
I put up with a lot of crap around here. Mim brings her damn cats here all the time and you won’t leave the water running so I can drink when I want and Teddy eats my food. You even tried to make me wear a sweater! I don’t do sweaters!
Look at me when I’m giving you the Stink Eye! If I had poo right now I would fling it at you.
Someone had better get that Treat Jug out.
I don’t know why I even put up with you. There seems to be no end to the atrocities. I’m calling PETA! Black Lives Matter, you know!
You think I’m going to ‘sit pretty’ anymore? I don’t bloody think so! I’m going for a nap and there had better be zero noise! You hear me? ZERO!