UPDATE: Izzie’s Fight Club

We are still in the middle of a titanic struggle for passage rights between Izzie and her Arch-Nemesis.  Baloshi has the law on his side with owner rights, while Izzie is claiming historic migratory rights.

It’s not going well.

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The Viking, Teddy and I have taken turns trying to convince her to just go around Baloshi’s yard, but she’s a stubborn little fuck.  The Viking has always held the title as The Most Stubborn Fuck in the Household, however Izzie has made it into a real competition.  I’ve never seen The Viking with open war wounds though, so I’m going to award the title to the new champion.

Her face is a mass of scars, scabs and open, seeping wounds.  She’s more grumpy, sarcastic and shouty than she usually is too, and that’s saying a lot given her normal temperament is somewhere between Angry, Vengeful Harpy and Bite-y, Slappy Gorgon.  I’m beginning to get a complex.

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We really have only one solution…….two solutions…..if we listen to Izzie who wants us to descend on the Ladies and Baloshi and burn the place to the ground.  With a flame-thrower*.  So, the only viable solution would be to lock her in the house.  We took a vote:

The Viking:  Nay.  Do you want us to be lacerated to ribbons in the dead of night?

Teddy:  Only if you chain her to a corner with a short leash.  My fur is finally starting to grow back after her last temper tantrum.

Me:  I would be in favour of the leash but it won’t stop her shouting threats and curses and I’m the one who is in the house most of the time.  Also, I think she knows how to VooDoo.  So, Nay to the leash.

The Viking:  We could wear protective clothing.

Teddy:  Nay.  I’m not wearing clothes.

Me:  It’s 32°C today.  Nay to protective clothing.

The Viking:  Maybe we could reason with her?

Teddy:  HA!

Me:  I’m with Teddy on that one.

It was unanimous – we can’t keep her in the house and still remain blood-free.

All we can do is to tend to her war wounds and continue to encourage a detour around Baloshi’s yard.  She won’t listen, but at least we tried.

 

*I’m not allowed to have a Flame-Thrower due to safety issues but Izzie pointed out that The Viking could do it.