We are still in the middle of a titanic struggle for passage rights between Izzie and her Arch-Nemesis. Baloshi has the law on his side with owner rights, while Izzie is claiming historic migratory rights.
It’s not going well.
The Viking, Teddy and I have taken turns trying to convince her to just go around Baloshi’s yard, but she’s a stubborn little fuck. The Viking has always held the title as The Most Stubborn Fuck in the Household, however Izzie has made it into a real competition. I’ve never seen The Viking with open war wounds though, so I’m going to award the title to the new champion.
Her face is a mass of scars, scabs and open, seeping wounds. She’s more grumpy, sarcastic and shouty than she usually is too, and that’s saying a lot given her normal temperament is somewhere between Angry, Vengeful Harpy and Bite-y, Slappy Gorgon. I’m beginning to get a complex.
We really have only one solution…….two solutions…..if we listen to Izzie who wants us to descend on the Ladies and Baloshi and burn the place to the ground. With a flame-thrower*. So, the only viable solution would be to lock her in the house. We took a vote:
The Viking: Nay. Do you want us to be lacerated to ribbons in the dead of night?
Teddy: Only if you chain her to a corner with a short leash. My fur is finally starting to grow back after her last temper tantrum.
Me: I would be in favour of the leash but it won’t stop her shouting threats and curses and I’m the one who is in the house most of the time. Also, I think she knows how to VooDoo. So, Nay to the leash.
The Viking: We could wear protective clothing.
Teddy: Nay. I’m not wearing clothes.
Me: It’s 32°C today. Nay to protective clothing.
The Viking: Maybe we could reason with her?
Teddy: HA!
Me: I’m with Teddy on that one.
It was unanimous – we can’t keep her in the house and still remain blood-free.
All we can do is to tend to her war wounds and continue to encourage a detour around Baloshi’s yard. She won’t listen, but at least we tried.
*I’m not allowed to have a Flame-Thrower due to safety issues but Izzie pointed out that The Viking could do it.