Tape: It’s one of those things that I just can’t seem to master. I have all the latest in Tape-Taming Technology at my fingertips but I still get it stuck to my skin or my clothes or the table and once it got stuck to The Viking when he happened to be walking past as I was wrapping a Christmas Gift. I had to chase him all the way outside to peel the tape from the back of his head. Sometimes static builds up and it sticks to itself and a wrestling match ensues. I blame this on William Gilbert who invented static electricity. Thanks for that, William!
The worst thing about tape is that it traps my finger prints. I was employed as a Librarian a few years ago – or maybe it was a decade plus three years ago – when it first occurred to me that my finger prints were being trapped for eternity. There is a lot of tape involved when you are preparing new materials for the shelves and every item I processed had at least 7 of my finger prints……and maybe a cheek print, or an arm print and on one item for sure there is a great print of the left side of my neck. Quite a bit of my hair ended up under labels or tape, too.
I bring this up because I was taping up a box the other day and my hands were a bit dirty because the box came out of the garage and suddenly there was a perfect finger print under the tape on the shipping label.
- “Shit! Now the cops will have my finger print!”
- “The police can get my finger prints from that library any time they want.”
- “Yes, but for some reason I am more worried about it now.”
- “None of this matters because you aren’t criminally inclined.”
True, but that’s not the point. The point is that I’ve lost some of my freedom. Had I thought of the implications of my finger prints being trapped by tape when I worked in the Library I would have taken steps! I would have worn gloves! And a hair net! Please don’t let a follicle be attached for DNA! What if I want to pursue a career in Cat Buglary? That’s out of the question now! This is truly a sad day. The Death Of A Potential Dream.
Bright Idea: Let’s talk about glue. Hot glue and its evil gun, to be exact. I once set fire to some dried moss while making a craft and another time I had to cut a dried up piece of glue off the cat. I don’t do many crafts these days and definitely none that involve hot glue.
That’s not the point though. The point is there may be a way that hot glue could save the ‘Potential Dream’ from Death. It is not beyond the realm of possibility that I could burn my finger prints off with hot glue and its evil gun. If I don’t have finger prints the cops could never truly prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the Library prints and the Box prints belong to me. Right? As for the hair problem, I’ll just have to hope that I didn’t leave any incriminating follicles behind.
Just to be clear though, I don’t have any intention of doing anything that may cause the cops to come looking for me because I’m not criminally inclined.
I JUST WANT MY LIFE BACK!