Conversations with Teddy & Izzie

Izzie:  Fascinating, isn’t it?

Teddy:  I suppose so.

Izzie:  What do you mean, ‘I suppose so’?  Don’t you have any curiosity in your soul?  Don’t you ever want to know why?

Teddy:  Not particularly.  As long as there is food in my bowl I’m pretty content.

Izzie:  Gawd!  You and your kind are the reason we aren’t the dominant species on this planet.

Teddy:  That’s a little stereotypical, isn’t it?  Just because I’m not curious about water swirling down a hole doesn’t mean I’m not curious.

Izzie:  It’s not just water swirling down a hole!  They keep the lid down so we can’t see what’s going on in there.

Teddy:  Maybe nothing is going on in there.  Maybe they just don’t want you playing in the water.  Mom was pretty pissed the last time you played in there.  You mixed our pooper stuff in the water and flicked it all over the walls and floor.

Izzie:  It was an experiment!  I told you that already!

Teddy:  Hey, you’re preaching to the choir here.  I don’t care if you want to play in it, I just don’t happen to share your curiosity.

Izzie:  So why does The Viking pull his thing out and put more water in there only to swirl it down the hole?  It just doesn’t make sense!  What’s the matter with peeing in sand?  Why sand for us but water for them?

Teddy:  Maybe it’s because they don’t like digging in sand.  Have you ever seen them dig in sand for any reason?  Maybe it gets under their claws and they hate it?  My other sister never dug either because she didn’t like sand in her claws.  I was the one who had to bury her poo.

Izzie:  Of course you were.  So why does Mom sit to pee but The Viking stands?  Wait!  I just had a thought!  What if he’s just so proud of his thingy he wants to show it to me all the time.  Like when I kill mice and show them to him.

Teddy:  Maybe.  I’m impressed with it.  He’s got me beat by a mile.  I’m sure he wouldn’t mind a nod or a purr of delight when he shows it to you.

Izzie:  I don’t really care about that.  I’m more concerned with what Mom is doing.  She sits all the time and I have a suspicion that it’s not just because she’s humble.  I think she hiding something.

Teddy:  What would she be hiding in the water?

Izzie:  That’s exactly what I don’t understand.  She does something, puts paper on top of it and then swirls it all down the hole before I can find out what it was.

Teddy:  Maybe it was just some poo.

Izzie:  So why won’t she let me see it?  Why hide it if it’s just a poo?

Teddy:  Then what do you think it is?  If it’s not poo then what is it?

Izzie:  I’m not sure but I think it might be Treats.  She’s obviously trying to keep it away from us and what is the one thing that we like more than anything else?

Teddy:  Treats?!  She wouldn’t be that cruel, would she?

Izzie:  Who squirts you with water when you claw things you’re not supposed to claw?  It’s not The Viking – he just yells.  It’s Mom who’s trigger happy.  Who knows what else she’s capable of?

Teddy:  Noooo!  But I liked Mom!  She scratches my chin and gives me massages!

Izzie:  That’s how she lulls you to sleep so you don’t catch on to her nefarious treat drowning scheme.

Teddy:  Wait.  She gives us treats though.  When we come home when she calls, when we bug her and stare at the treat cupboard, when we do something cute……she gives us treats!  There has to be another explanation.

Izzie:  Well, I can’t think of anything else that we really like.

Teddy:  What if it is just poo but she just doesn’t want us to see it?

Izzie:  Well that’s just crazy talk.  Why wouldn’t she want us to see that?  The Viking doesn’t mind.  I know that for a fact.

Teddy:  Whatever, Iz.  I’m going to see if there’s more food in my bowl.

Izzie:  There isn’t.  You know the schedule and it’s not time for more food.

Teddy:  I’d rather be looking for food than staring in the swirling water bowl.

Izzie:  Go ahead.  But some day I’m going to figure this out and then you’ll be worshipping the ground I walk on.

 

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