Bless me Coffee Gawd, it’s been a month since my last visit. In my defence I’ve been busy. First there was the holiday to Arizona and then there was the fallout of said holiday.
What is it about a vacation that makes you more tired when you get home than you were before you left? Are the Vacation Gawds assholes? Shouldn’t we be leaping out of bed on our first day back at work, excited to see what the day has to offer? Shouldn’t the ringing phone be a pleasant sound instead of a deafening siren of impending doom? I thought the whole purpose of vacations was to revitalize and re-energize, but I have about the same amount of vitality and energy as a damned Bassett Hound.
We’ve been home for six days and our Overnight Bag hasn’t unpacked itself yet. I’m tired too, but that’s no excuse to make me search the bag repeatedly every day looking for another toiletry. And the laundry hasn’t sorted itself either! It’s only one bag and it only takes a minute to start the washing machine. What is it waiting for? It hasn’t been on vacation! There’s a bra in there that I need!
I dragged my ass to the grocery store so we at least had some coffee and a sandwich. The fridge is behaving as though it has all the time in the world to restock. Where are the salads and cheeses?! This is the perfect weather to make a nice beef roast with mashed potatoes and gravy and maybe some sesame carrots. The stove is just waiting to get going. You’re holding up the proceedings, Fridge!
Izzie seems to be the only person happy to be home again. She’s running and leaping and jumping and whatever the fuck else she does in the middle of the night. “Yes, I know you want to play but can’t you see that I’m in no shape to be moving from my computer chair? And the lacerations and bitings are not helping your case! And we aren’t in the truck anymore so find somewhere else to sleep that isn’t my shoulder!
The Viking comes into the house and plops in his computer chair. “Is there anymore coffee?” He’s so tired his lips barely move, combined with the Danish accent it comes out more like “Z en mo kuf e”. I mumble back, “S” while I jerk myself back to a vertical position and my eyes snap open. Where the fuck is Daylight Savings Time when you need it?! NOVEMBER 6th?! I can’t wait that long! I need that hour now!
It didn’t help that we must have eaten something on our way home that didn’t entirely agree with our intestinal tracts. That’s the problem with driving 2300 kilometers (1430 miles) in a day and a half – you are at the mercy of the Fast Food Industry. The Fridge didn’t help matters by being empty; it’s not like it didn’t know when we would be home. I specifically told it so we wouldn’t be shocked and surprised if it had a date over.
Anyway, that’s why I haven’t been by for a visit, Coffee Gawd. If you think about it, it’s probably for the best that I didn’t come sooner. I wouldn’t wish myself on anyone in this condition. It’s Saturday though. Maybe The Viking won’t notice that I’m not getting out of bed. If the fucking Fridge and Stove would cooperate and put something hot on the table for him at dinner time I could conceivably stay in bed until Monday morning at 8:58am. I need time to dress and commute to my computer chair. Apparently the phones won’t answer themselves.
Bastards.
Welcome back!
Vacations should be banned, if you ask me… The outcome is so slim, that it really isn’t worth leaving home to have fun for a while. Between the post-vacation fatigue, the appliances developing lazy habits while you’re away and the painful memories of “remember how great it was to be off work, hun?”… Really, why do we do it?
LOL
Have a great weekend (I hope the fridge and stove will shake their lazies up and get to work soon!)
I’ve been wondering about that for 6 days. Is it even worth it? Yeah. It’s worth it. The frenzy of getting home is the part that isn’t worth it. Maybe we could just ban that part?
I’d vote for that!! 😉
Btw, just wanted to tell you I nominated you for the Black Cat Blue Sea Award…
https://cyranny.wordpress.com/2016/10/31/black-cat-blue-sea/
Have a great week 🙂
WOW!! Thanks, Cyranny! I really appreciate it. :o)
Strange how our machines need someone to work them. I guess your vacation was fun, you didn’t say. Have pleasant week.
The vacation was lovely – warm and sunny and relaxing. It’s the frenzy to get home and get back into the swing of things that are usually the challenge. Still…it was lovely. :o)
Welcome home! LOL I know, taking a trip is not always as relaxing as we expect it to be with the work it requires to recover. 🙂 Have a better week!
Thanks! :o) A side-effect of our vacation is the lack of personal space and time. I probably just need ‘me’ time. :o)
Velkommen tilbake, vi har savnet deg! (Have the Viking read that, I am sure he can understand Norwegian – it’s basically the same (give or take a few commas)))
Tack! tack! Godt at vaere tilbage! :o) Thanks Olive!
Yep, fridges, phones, stoves, they’re all so useless. They can’t do anything for themselves.
I suppose if they started taking the initiative they would do it all wrong anyway and then I’d have to complain about that, too. Sigh. My work is never done. :o)
Lazy, freeloading appliances. I’ve been trying to get my laundry to fold itself and put itself away for years to no avail. I find vacations exhausting. I typically need a vacation after my vacation.
Isn’t that the truth! :o) And yes! If laundry would only fold itself and jump back into the closet and drawers, I would have oodles of spare time to…..well, I don’t know what but I’m sure it would be epic.