We are finally taking some holidays. It’s been a while. Like 2 years already. That’s what happens when you run your own business – when the work is there, you get it done because you don’t know what will happen around the corner. We’re biting the bullet though, because we need it. And since we’re so excited, we hoped the cats would be as well.
Me: Hey guys!! We booked a campground! We are loading up the trailer and leaving on Saturday.
Teddy: What?! When you say ‘Trailer’, do you mean that huge monstrosity sitting in the driveway? The thing you made me stay in a couple of months ago? THAT thing?!
Me: Yes! I’m so excited! It will be so relaxing and peaceful.
Teddy: No. I’m not going.
Me: Oh, come on, Teddy. It’s not that bad. Izzie didn’t mind. In fact, I’m pretty sure she enjoyed it.
Izzie: I did! It was cozy. Hygge!
Teddy: Says the Succubus from Hell.
Me: If you bothered to come out from under the bed you would have enjoyed the peace and quiet.
Izzie: Yeah, Teddy.
Teddy: Shut up, Izzie! You’re the one who threatened death if I did come out.
Izzie: Hahahahaha!!
Me: That’s not funny, Izzie and if you do it again, you’ll be banished to the cat carrier.
Teddy: HA! We all know that’s not going to happen because she’ll scream the leaves from the trees, the birds from the sky and the bugs from the ground. Nothing can survive when she gets going!
Me: Okay, you have a point. We would probably get thrown out of the campground. Still, if you stood up to her from time to time maybe she wouldn’t be such a bully.
Teddy: Have you seen her face? She started a Fight Club for fuck’s sake!
Me: Okay, you have a point, again. Going camping will give her face time to heal though. So, there is that.
Izzie: I don’t want it to heal! I’m enjoying the notoriety. Orange Charlie is terrified, as are Ross’s dogs.
Me: Sigh. Why do you have to be so miserable, Izzie? Geez! And Teddy, there are worse things than taking you camping. Do you remember when we left you home for a day and a half? You literally wouldn’t speak to me for almost a week.
Teddy: That’s because you didn’t inform me of your plans before you just left. I thought you were dead and then you show up all happy and sparkly without the slightest concern for my worries.
Me: I’ve apologised for that a million times already! That’s why we’re taking you camping. You just have to get over it.
Teddy: I think you might have missed what I said earlier – I. AM. NOT. GOING. IN. THAT. DEATH. TRAP. EVER. AGAIN!
Me: Okay, look. We can’t leave you home alone for so long.
Teddy: Exactly. You shouldn’t be going at all. Stay home like other normal people. It’s totally irresponsible as a Cat Parent to traumatize your Cat Children.
Me: Sigh. Just give it a chance, Teddy. The Viking and I will make sure Izzie behaves herself. It will be fine.
Izzie: HEY!! You’re not the boss of me! If I want to make death threats, I’ll make death threats and there is nothing you can do about it!
Me: Actually, I am your boss. And fine. New plan. We’ll leave Izzie home and take Teddy with us. That would work, wouldn’t it? Izzie doesn’t care if we’re here or not as long as there is food and Teddy will have the trailer all to himself.
Teddy/Izzie: NOOO! NOPE! NADA! That plan sucks!
Teddy: I used to love you, you know. I thought you were the best Mom ever. Obviously, I was wrong.
Me: Teddy, you still love me. You can’t help yourself, because you love the belly rub.
Teddy: Curses!! The belly rub is my kryptonite!
Me: You are both coming camping! We will have toys and treats and we have a harness and leash for each of you so you can hang out with us outside.
Izzie: A leash?! What kind of fuckery is that?! I don’t do leashes OR harnesses. I thought we settle that debate 3 years ago!
Me: You can’t wander around the campground on your own. It’s either the harness and leash or you stay in the trailer.
Izzie: Then, I’m not going now.
Me: YOU ARE BOTH COMING CAMPING!! AND IZZIE WILL BEHAVE HERSELF AND TEDDY WILL COME OUT FROM UNDER THE DAMNED BED!! PERIOD!
So. Wish us luck. I have a feeling that we’re going to need all the luck we can get.
I can’t wait to hear about your camping adventures! Good luck and I mean that sincerely!
Haha! I’ll definitely keep you posted. Thanks for stopping by Pamela. 🙂
Oh, yes. I can see where this is going to be a tranquil, relaxing break. We await your postcards from the edge.
Haha! Fingers crossed that the whole thing doesn’t turn into an epic debacle. 🙂
Nope, not in our house… Cats stayed behind and were taken care of by friends… Zeke, of course, came, always…
We are cruel parents, what can I say?
That would be the ideal arrangement but we can’t find anyone who wants to deal with Izzie. They get hurt feelings when she curses and slaps them.
Also, taking Zeke along but not the cats doesn’t seem quite fair. I’m sure there is an ‘ist’ involving pet favouritism – like a sexist but canine-ist?
Also again, we have a cat door and it would just be our luck that Izzie – and you KNOW it would be Izzie – would throw a “My Parents Are On Holiday” Party and we would come home to drunk cats draped on the furniture, empty bags of cat treats and a Bear. It’s all about risk assessment. LOL!
Let’s just say the world of cats and dogs are different 😉 And I had a co-worker who brought their cat everywhere so. Yeah.
And yes. I am not even afraid to say that there is a definite ‘ist’ involved 😉
Haha! We don’t take the cats with us unless we’re going to be gone for a while and the only way we’re gone for a while is with the trailer. The price we pay to be cat parents I suppose.
Indeed!
That’s why when Iain moves out, he takes his cat with him; and when Zeke – I won’t say it – I won’t get another.
Same here. Once the cats are gone we aren’t getting another one. 🙂
Good luck with pouty pusses, and have a great time!
Thanks Gale! XOXO