My website stopped working 3 days ago. I tried everything to get into my Admin site and it all failed. The only clue I had was this warning, “There was an error retrieving your site settings. Make sure your Jetpack is up to date”. How can I update Jetpack if I can’t get into my site?
So I sent Jetpack Support the following message on their Support Form.
I get HTTP 500 Internal Server Error when I attempt to access my admin site.
When I go through Word Press and try to access I get this error:
There was an error retrieving your site settings. Make sure your
Jetpack is up to date.
I can’t update my Jetpack because I can’t get into either the wp-admin site or the .com site.”
The Form said it could be anywhere from 24 to 48 hours before I heard back from Jetpack. Moan.
The following day, just for shits and giggles, I tried logging into my site AND IT WORKED! I hadn’t done anything, it just healed itself! Wonderful, but how is this possible? It is working perfectly.
This morning I received this from Jetpack:
We’re sorry you’re experiencing an issue.
We only see one site associated with your ******** WordPress.com account, your self-hosted, WordPress.org Jetpack site, www.mrs-completely.com.
What is the address of the WordPress.com site you’re referring to?
Also, if you are not able to access the Dashboard of your self-hosted, WordPress.org site, please reach out to your site host for assistance, as they should be able to help you regain access to the site.
Once we get some feedback, we can take the next troubleshooting step in resolving your issue.
Best,
Paul C. | Happiness Engineer | WordPress.com
Brilliant. So I confused them AND I don’t need them anymore. I hate it when this happens and I have to write a reply that admits my incompetence. I wish I didn’t have to but I’m an adult so apparently I can’t just hope it all goes away without any input from me. So:
Hi Paul,
SIGH! So the next day I thought I would take a chance and the stupid site loaded without any problems at all! This is like taking my car to the mechanic because it makes a horrible squealing sound and then it won’t make the sound for the mechanic but as soon as I leave the shop it starts squealing again. Gawd! Of course, I have The Viking now so this is no longer an issue but still……. The truth is that I panicked, because I have no idea how all this stuff works together. The Internet Gawd pointed the finger at Jetpack and like a panicky beast with the Dumb I fired off a primal scream on your Support Form. I’m 50. And menopausal. And I may or may not have been in the middle of a hot flash when I hit ‘Submit’. That’s my excuse. It’s up to you whether you believe it or not.
However, we’ve both learned something in the past couple of days. I’ve learned that there is actually someone on the other end of the Jetpack Support Form. Too many online Support Forms are there only to give the illusion that someone gives a shit if you have a problem. Jetpack has Happiness Engineers though! That must be the best fucking job on the planet! Wait. You do get paid, don’t you? Because I’m a Happiness Engineer too except they call me a Wife or a Mother and I get nothing for wages. Or vacation. Or sick days. You probably aren’t paid enough either, are you?
You’ve learned that Menopausal Women who don’t understand how this shit works can panic in glitchy situations. We’ve survived child birth and shopping trips with 3 children under the age of 4 and our husband getting a vasectomy and horrible in-laws and a whole slew of other crap but when our blog goes down for a day we lose our shit. You might want to put a button on the Support Form for ‘Menopausal Women Who Don’t Understand How This Shit Works’. And the automated reply saying you’ve received our Primal Scream could say things like “It’s okay, have some booze.” OR “We understand this is the last fucking thing you need today so we will hurry to help you.” OR “You’re not stupid. Just confused. Here’s a hug.”
Anyway, please accept my apologies for bothering you. I can send you Brownies as a consolation/apology gift if you’d like. I make amazing Brownies. Oh! Or Maple Brown Sugar Drop Cookies! They are delicious! Please ask for these so I have an excuse to make a double batch and eat half of them myself.
I can only hope that he accepts my apologies and that the next time I hurl the Primal Scream on the Jetpack Support Form he won’t reply with a Turd emoji.
I feel ya. Website issues are majorly frustrating. I am mad at Jetpack, but they actually kind of rock too. Jetpack’s subscription service stopped sending notifications out to my subscribers for new posts. That’s kind of death for a blog. But they have been very proactive in trying to help me (in fact they told me they have an update going out Saturday). How can I get mad when they send me emails like this?
**I’ve subscribed to the blog now as well, so I’ll be able to see if anything is coming in to me, and we’ll have a test email address to tinker with to see if we can spot anything odd. (Also your site is pretty hilarious, so it’s been fun to troubleshoot)**
Was his name Paul C.?! Because he’s awesome and he replied to my confession and I’ll be posting it tomorrow. As for your problem…..I haven’t gotten any emails for your posts and actually only found them by browsing other bloggers that we both follow. Hope Jetpack gets it sorted. :o)
I know! It’s awful. I send a notification email out, blind copying my individual subscribers, but I only have blog names for fellow bloggers, not email addresses — so I can’t send notifications on my own. I talked to LOTS of different people at Jetpack, no Paul C. Can’t wait to see your response!
Also, I thought the turd was a Maple Brown Sugar Drop Cookie. Whew.
Bahaha! They kind of look the same except the cookies don’t have eyes. :o)