We did something daring. That’s right. We dared. And, it was glorious!
We have a Honda Goldwing – a great old girl that has seen better days but when The Viking blows in her exhaust and whispers sexy things to her injectors it’s like she’s 10 again.* He dusted her off and fueled her up and we went through the mountains to Cranbrook, British Columbia.
We’ve never dared to ride for so long before because my Spine gets cranky about its missing disc and potholes. However, you never get adventure from sitting on the sofa, so I packed some hefty pain meds and we hit the road. I stuck earphones in and turned up my music. While The Viking was driving like a Boss, I was conducting orchestras, doing drum solos and singing opera – happy as a clam.
We don’t have the fancy helmet to helmet communication because I prefer my solitary time. However, I have created a complex method of communicating with The Viking, just in case I have something important to say that can’t wait until we stop for a stretch: I knock on his helmet with my knuckles. I would knock on his helmet with a pretty Scepter but apparently he doesn’t think I’m Queenly enough for one. Whatever. So, I knock on his helmet and he turns his head and I yell my important information at him. It’s almost perfect.
Knock, Knock
The Viking turns his head.
I’VE BEEN HIT!! A GIANT BUG JUST CRIPPLED MY RIGHT KNEE!
Shrug.
He’s obviously not concerned enough to pull over for triage.
Knock, Knock
Head turns.
WHY IS MY NOSE ALWAYS ITCHY WHEN I RIDE THIS BIKE?!
Shrug.
I spend more time with my finger scrubbing my nose than actually looking at the scenery.
Knock, Knock
Head turns.
I CAN’T CHEW MY GUM BECAUSE THE HELMET IS TOO TIGHT!
Shrug.
Seriously! Do motorcyclists never chew gum? Helmets should have cheek pouches. OR…..the back of his jacket should have a TicTac pocket.
Knock, Knock
Head turns.
I HAVE TO PEE!
Makes several hand signals that I believe meant that I’d just have to hold it until we reached the next gas station OR it could have meant that he’d stop if I wanted to squat in the ditch.
I decided to wait for a gas station.
Knock, Knock
Head turns.
MY BACK IS ITCHY AND IT’S DRIVING ME NUTS!!
Shrug.
I tried to keep my squirming to a minimum.
Knock, Knock
Head turns.
I ALMOST LOST MY PHONE WHEN I WANTED TO CHANGE PLAYLISTS!
Muffled curses and lewd hand gestures.
If he had a pocket on the back of his jacket to hold my phone, this wouldn’t be an issue, you know.
We had a wonderful trip though. The weather was perfect, the hotel was clean and dinner out was lovely. We should do this again.
As soon as I get finished sewing an organizing system to the back of The Viking’s leather jacket.
*He’s very good at whispering sexy things to old girls. Trust me. I know.